A Frying Shame

Working photography on an active crime scene. A French fry crime scene! As it turns out, McDonalds french fries’ spellbinding combination of Smell, Taste, Crunch is hard to resist and that is why this was considered a crime scene.

Fry Crime

Just a whiff of that unmistakable frying oil scent, reminiscent of drive-thru windows and fast-food counters. Hands gripping that iconic red box with the famous arches on the front, holding a generous handful of stiff golden sticks. That first bite and hearing that satisfying crunch through the crispy outer layer, with the salt so discernible you can feel it leaping onto your tongue. The fluffy, soft potato that manages to taste a million times better than the raw starch. They’re warm and satisfying, and you polish them off one by one. Before you know it, the whole box is gone.

Not today! Look at the waste! The sadness!

A first look at the evidence and markings lead to the idea that the perpetrators did not deliberately pour hot fries or in some cases cold, greasy lard sticks on the ground. That would have left the fries in a heap and none in the carton. Nor were they hurled or slapped away as a last chance to save the dieter from breaking his/her “on-again-off-again” fast food relationship. A fanning pattern on the ground would result.

Examining the articles on the scene several theories arise:

1. Owner of food bites hot potato sticks, burns himself and drops before stated fast food items.

2. Patron of McDonalds slips or is pushed. By accident or in jest, either way, fries hit asphalt leaving potato projectiles sprawled in a radius immediate to the point of impact.

No suspects were found in the immediate area possible speculation could be that the valued french fries was not worth initiating the “3-second-rule”, rescuing them for quick consumption. Or maybe just returning to those “golden arches” and reordering the salty, mouth-watering snack in-restaurant to minimize at chance of a reoccurrence more fries not reaching their fullest potential. Namely, total craving and appetite satisfaction!

Readers will be updated of any progress made in this investigation.

3 Comments

  1. The Golden Arches of Death. No wonder Americans are some of the most obese people in the world. Hopefully Sanitation will remove the Lard sticks from the scene.

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